Never say you can't
Sunday, 26 August 2012 | 23:21 | 0
Always a lazy blogger :( Really admire people who can blog all the time without even feeling the least bit lazy. :) Well, I kinda realise I blog once every week. So I guess at least i'm not that lazy? hehehe. It's been a damn hectic week. Thinking back, I had no idea how i survived it.
So well, I blogged in the AM on 19 August that i'm gonna quit drinking and all the bullshit, Oh well, like i've already mention, those are bullshit. I'm not even anywhere near quitting.... Immediately on 19Aug night, I went to drink with my friends. Got really high that night..... I swear Jed's a joker. Can't drink without him sia. Or i'd be a damn sad night or something. HAHA. Came home only at 8am the next day. Was so so so tired. But i still had dreams. Been having dreams lately... and there's always death in them sigh. I think my own death is seriously nearing anw. These nightmares are probably some kind of warning already.
So on Monday, Met this silly girl, We haven't met in the longest of longest time. I swear we had so much to catch up on. And it was nice catching up with her. We yakked and yakked the entire day away. Miss her silliness so much! :p
Then in the night jaz came over to finish up all the alcohol we had from sunday and yet again it's an alcohol night. Sick.
Tuesday was a simple day. Woke up late, went for tuition, came home and studied all the way and i literally mean all the way. Studied till 5 in the morning, took a nap and went to school for exam on wednesday. I was so tired i couldn't even understand how i survived the paper, Let's just hope my efforts get paid off though all i think i wrote was bullshit. Well, i would be rich if i get paid for writing bullshit really.
HAPPY SEVENTEEN WIFE, NOREEN FXQ!
well, It's my wife birthday on 22August! Well, didn't do much for her this year cause of the geog paper and the lack of sleep... but i seriously hope she had a good one. I miss all the times we spent together and cause of studies it's so hard to spend time together already :( Nevermind, after Os! :)
Went home immediately after geog paper and KO. I was so tired. Headed to meet Grace in the late noon though supposedly to study, but well we chat all the way and went to jog after that. Jogging at her area damm sick. All the slopes i almost died. Went to the gym as well, But it felt so good working out! :)
Met the mother on Thursday. Talked about life basically, and had lunch and we both headed home... A simple thursday but well. I didn't manage to sleep well as I was so angry with someone and sad at something at the same time :( So i kept tossing and turning and the next thing i knew it's 8am already. It was THAT fast. Time flies after 12am everyday. Met jaz at about 9? And we had breakfast then headed to AMK to watch 2 movies :) Watched Greedy Ghost & Katy Perry's Part of me.. Both shows were not that bad :)
Headed to town after movie to meet Solehin & co.... And Jed too (which was really impromptu) I was feeling so so so tired around 5plus :( But i had to stay in Town cause i promise someone to shop with her.... So we ended stoning at town till she reach :) After a little shopping and lepz, i went home wanting to sleep... But couldn't sleep at all :( And there was this lonely sad feeling I had, but Jaz was all the way at Punggol with Jed :( So i went for supper. Hehehe.
Had a really nice walk home, quiet and just nice. Music to accompany me and all. Slept early when i was supposed to be meeting Jazlyn and Jed to ton but i really cannot tahan already. Just simply needed to sleep so bad..... so i knocked out on bed and woke up at 11 the next day. Finally had a good long sleep. But i had the funniest dream ever. Still well, there was death. Sigh.
Head out for tuition and came home to nap again. Life of a pig. After my nap went to meet Mc, Jazlyn, Sara, William, Sean in Town. impromptu decision to go Filter and Grace decided to join us. She damn rabak i swear. The way she managed to allow herself to come... i can't even. She had a hard time going in cause the door bitch was a real bitch. But we borrow IC from the pretty lady which is Sara's friend and someone i somehow know. HAHA. Pretty amazing how the world is so fucking small.
Drank neat the whole night. I don't know if that's how it's suppose to be or mixers and cups were a burden to them. My mouth was the cup the entire night. Belvedere and Black label went in all the way. I don't even know who's the person pouring it into my mouth. And the worst part is i had to take care of Grace. Cb, drink so little seh already. LOL. Stayed till 4ish? the moment it ended. swirly died. I knocked into everything. i couldn't even walk down the stairs from filter i dont even know who brought me down but i swear i kinda floated down the stairs. HAHAHAHA.
I was so drunk i think. And the moment Grace parents reached to pick us up i started vomiting like a Merlion. LOLOL. Non-stop sia. I didn't even know i was in Grace parents car and didn't know i talk so much shit. I still vomit in the car, Thank god for the plastic bag. But jazlyn was way more jialat than me hehe. And the moment i reach home and opened the door. Round 3 of vomiting. I swear i vomited so much.
Fell asleep immediately and woke up at 9, no idea why i woke up so early, but woke up feeling hungry, so decided to go for BF with jaz, ate only like 1/2 bowl? And i couldn't eat anymore. The moment i reach home and lie down, in like 10mins? i got up and puked again :( Sigh. Why so disgusting :( LOL.
Stayed home the whole day.... Pigging out, so i headed for my usual routine exercise and now i'm just so awake yet lazy to study so i'm blogging.... Btw There's so much in life that i've yet to experience and not actually even interested to experience them.That's quite pathetic, how my views on life are so negative. I don't even know what i'm doing with my life most of the time. Sigh.
Getting drunk and wasted, battling with those horrifying night thoughts that keep me awake most of the time, I seriously can't even. How could I get so emotionally attached to someone so easily when they didn't even get that attached to me? Sigh, all these stupid thoughts always make me moody all the time... :(
Fought with my parents earlier, I swear this time it wasn't my fault ok. My parents don't even want to communicate with each other. What is this?! My mum asked me to ask my dad something, I went to ask and got scolded instead. Whatttttttt. Not like I wanted to ask one right -.- can't you just go scold your own WIFE yourself. Scold me for what. So i told my mum, i don't know la i got scolded. And she told me to keep my mouth shut. Seriously -__________- i can't even. I went to ask her: I seriously don't get why you marry a mad man like him. And she could reply me 'That's why i chose to give up and leave him' Sick, This shows that nothing last forever. Love doesn't. A marriage doesn't mean anything. This taught me that even if at a point of life, i thought a certain person might be the love of my life but that is simply bullshit. there's no such thing as forever in a relationship, only the relationshits lasts forever probably.
With every Hello, the Goodbye is probably planned out already, It's just how long you manage to walk without saying the goodbye. But what's the good in goodbye? Nothing. There's no happy ending every time a goodbye comes. Instead it's probably sadness all the time in every stupid Bye said. Oh well, that's just probably life right? Life doesn't stop, if you're stuck in a moment, it's just your problem. There's nothing anyone can do to help. Time can't stop ticking just to wait for you to move on. We just need to mature up and see what's the road that lies ahead for us, and continue the journey. No matter how we want to give up, we can't, we just have to keep trying. Life, oh well. Horrible isn't it?
Growing up sucks. It really does.
xoxo
"there was so many times i would doubt myself"
