I thought
Monday 15 April 2013 | 00:51 | 0
Life just loves to challenge me.
Every time I tell myself everything is gonna get better, no, it doesn't. It doesn't work that way.
People say you grow wiser and more mature after solving all your problems but that ain't true. It makes me feel like giving up. I don't even want to continue struggling, why must life treat me this way. What did i ever did wrong? I'm only turning 18. Not even legal for most of the things, yet I have to act like i'm some 30 year old, thinking of how to make ends meet, how to provide for myself. Yes, be independent, I know. But to be independent at 18 isn't all that easy, I need to a certain extend of support.
Parents? What are parents? What is family? I feel like I am a frog that jumped into a wrong well dropping so quickly so deeply into a very dark one. that I don't even know what are all this anymore. Everything is becoming so blur to me, I am forgetting all that. Some times I question myself. Why isn't my family the happily ever after kind. Why does mine make me carry all the weight on my shoulder alone? I may be strong, but every strong man will eventually get weak. And when I get weak who's ever gonna be there to share the weight with me?
I'm so glad to have found my boy. Without him, I would probably have crumbled and crash under this weight. He may not be able to help me carry the burdens I have but at least he is able to make me forget about the weight and just smile for that few moments. He would be there at my highest and lowest point of life, sharing my joys, wiping my tears. Telling me how life would always get better.
Just his simple smile and hug always make me feel like I am never alone, I always have someone.
And never forget the two best girlfriends I have and love! Seah Li Yi and Michelle Thio. Ya'll always have my back. You all would always be there when I need help. Helping me without even asking questions, without even hesitating. We may not be with each other 24/7 the time, some times we don't even meet for weeks, don't even talk for days but whenever any of us need each other, we'll always always be there for each other. Despite the busy schedule we have we always try our bestest to make time for each other. We went through thick and thin all together. 6 years of friendship, and i'm certain that we are gonna be a lifetime of friends.
Thanks guys for everything you have ever done for me!
Sometimes I just wish I could be 8 all over again.
xoxo
"Maybe I'm too naive, thinking that a miracle would happen"
